Have you ever had an intense spiritual experience?

Salaam alaikum,

I was just on sunniforum.com, and there was a thread called "Overwhelmed during dhikr?" It reminded me of a spiritual experience that I had that I will never forget, Insha'Allah.

The date was February 14, 2009. The masjid that I attend holds a retreat every year for teenagers, college students, and young professionals. I was a bit hesitant about going, since I was afraid that somehow my parents would find out about it, but after plenty of prodding from my friends I gave in. I wasn't at all sure what to expect, but my best friend said that it is a great iman booster. She warned me that she cried the last time she went because it was so spiritually overwhelming, and that I might cry also. I'm normally a pretty stoic person, so I doubted that this would happen to me.

The first night we were there, all 100+ attendants listened to a lecture on the characteristics of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). At this point I had only been Muslim for a few months, and I was very unfamiliar with the life and teachings of the Prophet (saw). I listened attentively and was surprised at how much I learned. At one point, the speaker told a narration about how one of the sahaba saw Prophet Muhammad (saw) crying. He asked what was wrong, and Muhammad (saw) said that he was sad that he would never be able to meet the ummah of future generations. I don't know what happened, but after I heard that I started to tear up. I had never heard of such compassion and concern, and the fact that Prophet Muhammad (saw), the most important person in history, actually cared about his followers thousands of years later touched me deeply.

On February 14th, around 2:00 p.m., the retreat directors announced for everyone to put on their coats; we were about to go on a "dhikr walk". We were not told where we were walking to, and we weren't allowed to talk to anyone; we could only make dhikr to ourselves. They gave us all a sheet with a few dhikrs and du'as that we could say to ourselves. I left the masjid saying to myself "Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, la ilaha illa ALLAH, ALLAHu Akbar" and the du'as on the sheet. As we walked, I continued to say these words. At one point, something changed for me. I started to really ponder the meanings of what I was saying, and they were exceptionally beautiful. I started to realize just how much ALLAH had blessed me in my life, from giving me a loving family, to giving me food and shelter, to allowing me to get an education, for guiding me to Islam. I thought about all the sins that I had committed, and how I had been so ungrateful. I started crying out of guilt and sadness, but also out of happiness, as I knew that ALLAH would forgive me since I had truly repented. At this point, the walk ended on top of a hill overlooking downtown Boston. The sun was setting, and the sky was a beautiful golden blue. The director told us that we were going to join together in saying out loud "La ilaha illa ALLAH" continuously for a few minutes. We all started saying this, and that's when I felt ALLAH's presence. I felt in my heart that ALLAH had forgiven me, and that no matter what happens in life ALLAH will always be there for me. It literally felt like my heart was going to burst from sheer ecstasy and joy. I completely lost it; I was absolutely bawling, so much that I could barely say the dhikr. I didn't bring any tissues with me, so I had to blow my nose on an old homework assignment from my Urdu class. Never before in my life had I felt anything like this, and never had the words of the shahadah meant so much to me. Even though I started practicing Islam in September 2008 and said my shahadah in December 2008, I felt like I was "born again" into Islam on February 14, 2009.

After this experience, I have changed. I vowed to pray all my prayers on time, to be sure to wear proper hijab, to read Qur'an more frequently, and, of course, to make dhikr more often. I feel that in spiritual matters I am much more emotional. Now when I read Qur'an I feel a much stronger connection to ALLAH. Sometimes I cry during my salat, and I cannot get through listening to Qasidah Burdah without welling up. I believe that the feelings of religious epiphanies and spiritual experiences are by far the best feelings in the world.

Have you ever had any intense spiritual experiences?