Oops, my bad, and a new blog feature!

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!

In one of my recent posts (a survey about myself), I answered a question asking what my favorite hadith was, and I said that it was when Prophet Muhammad (saw) cried because he would never know his future ummah. I searched for this hadith, and there are similar ones that talk about the Prophet (saw) crying over the fate of the future Muslims, and calling Muslims "my ummah", but I couldn't find a hadith that matched what I wrote. Astaghfirullah, and I apologize for writing about a (potentially) false hadith.

On a positive note, as I was searching for this hadith, I came across many other very lovely, authentic hadiths that illustrated the beautiful character of the Prophet (saw). Since I found so many, and since one of my goals is to try and learn more about the life of the Prophet (saw) and increase my love for him, Insha'Allah I would like to occasionally post some of the hadiths I especially liked on here. Think of them as "food for thought" and as examples of what we should strive to be like.

To start out: "Anas ibn Malik reports: “God’s messenger was sitting in the mosque with some of his companions when a Bedouin urinated inside the mosque. The Prophet’s companions said: ‘What is going on?’ ‘What are you doing?’ The Prophet said to them: ‘Do not interrupt him.’ He subsequently called the man and said to him: ‘These mosques are not the place where one can throw any dirt, urine or stools. They are meant for reciting the Qur’an, glorifying God and prayer.’ He then called for a bucket of water and he poured it over the urine.” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Al-Nassaie, Malik and Ahmad)."

Subhanallah, this is a perfect example of sabr (patience) and GOOD naseeha (advice)! As Muslims, we are encouraged to "enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil", and also to actively try and correct wrongs. However, there are good and not-so-good ways to do this. There are so many complaints of Muslims that are quick to point out other people's mistakes, or who give "naseeha" when in reality they come across as overly critical and maybe even self-righteous. Running over to the Bedouin and yelling at him in front of everyone would have been very embarrassing and harsh, and may have dissuaded the Bedouin from coming to the masjid again (just like today, when people are hesitant to attend the masjid because they are afraid of being criticized by others). Instead, the Prophet (saw) waited until the Bedouin was done, and then told him, without getting angry and without even directly "blaming" or "calling out" the man on his fault, that this was not something that was appropriate to do in a masjid. After that, he himself cleaned up after the man and left it at that. In this hadith, it seems that we are actually given steps on how to properly give naseeha: first, wait for an appropriate time to speak with the person directly about their error (i.e. not in front of other people, and not even necessarily while they're committing the act); next, explain to them the error in their behavior in a non-accusatory manner (i.e. no blaming them or making them feel bad; this is actually a technique used in problem-solving today called using "I" language, where instead of saying something vague and condemning like "you're such a jerk!", you'd say something specific and non-accusatory like "I feel upset when you call me that name"); and finally help them to fix their behavior (or help them repair any damage their behavior may have done, like cleaning up their mess as the Prophet (saw) did).

Insha'Allah, we will all remember this and put the Prophet's (saw) example into practice when we feel compelled to give naseeha!

An Apology

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

I was reading a blog today talking about "closeted Muslims", or Muslims who hide their faith from people for whatever reason. I wrote about how I am one, and someone commented that I am lacking integrity and respect for hiding from my parents, as well as doing the wrong thing by not telling them because I am afraid that they will stop paying for my education. This got me thinking a lot about my situation.

I really do respect my parents. Masha'Allah, they are such good, kind people. I have always been the type who would do anything to please them, and I am crushed when I do something that disappoints them. I know that telling them I am Muslim would be the ultimate disappointment for them, and I don't know how I would be able to handle that shame that I would feel afterwards.

Am I a bad person for hiding from them? Is it bad that I don't want to tell them for such a selfish reason as paying for school? In some ways, I do feel very guilty for hiding from them. So guilty. Islam says that lying is haraam, and aren't I basically living one big lie by doing this?

I realized that in a lot of my posts I talk very negatively about my parents. This is wrong. They are my parents, and they deserve my love and respect. When I think about it, they are so against me becoming Muslim because they are worried about me. With all the negative portrayals of Islam and Muslims these days, they probably feel that they are protecting me from harm by opposing my interest in Islam. They are just doing what they think is best for me, not to be mean or controlling. From now on, Insha'Allah, I will not complain about my parents here or put them in a bad light; it's just not right to do so. Astaghfirullah, may ALLAH forgive me for being unkind, and may He help me always be kind and respectful to them, Ameen.

I have a lot to think about with this. It was hard to read these things, but sometimes the truth hurts. I really need to examine my situation because I just don't feel right leading a double life and lying so much to my parents. If they get angry, they get angry. If they really do decide to stop paying for school, then so be it. I'm sure there are other ways to pay for it. Anyway, ALLAH is the Best of Providers. I need to stop being a chicken and grow up and face my fears. I feel like it's only fair to them and to me.

Please make du'a for me; I'm gonna need it.

Another Survey! (from Candice this time)

Seriously, I love surveys.

1. Name ? Anne

2. How long have you been muslim? I'm honestly not sure; I knew I wanted to convert when I was 15 (five years ago), I started practicing (praying, fasting, etc.) almost two years ago (September 2008), and I officially said the shahadah a year and a half ago (December 31, 2008).

3. What menhaj do you follow? None, but I tend to lean towards Maliki.

4. Do you attend the masjid regularly? I try to go at least once a week, but if I lived closer I'd probably go everyday. I love my masjid so much, Alhamdulillah!

5. Have you ever made a pilgrimage (Hajj/umrah/jamaat)? Insha'Allah I'll go someday!

6. Do you wear hijab/niqab? I wear hijab and jilbab full time. Unfortunately, when I'm visiting my family I wear neither because they don't know I'm Muslim, but I still consider myself a full-time hijabi since I am essentially forced to stop wearing it. I don't wear niqab because I'm not sure whether I believe it's fard or not, but Insha'Allah I'd like to try it out someday, even if I decide not to wear it.

7. Would you like to make hijrah? Not really, because when I'm at school in Boston I can practice Islam just fine. Also, there's really no country in the world that is actually "Islamic", even if the country has a majority Muslim population. I think that as long as one can practice Islam without persecution, they don't need to move. Even then, I don't think hijrah has to be made to a Muslim-majority country, just a place that has a Muslim community and where Islam can be practiced freely. For example, I consider my return to Boston after spending time at home (where I am forced to be a "closet Muslim") a hijrah of sorts.

8. Are you married? If so, how long has it been? If not, when do you want to? I am not married right now. Insha'Allah, I would like to start seriously thinking about marriage after I graduate from college in two years.

9. Do you have children? No, but someday I will Insha'Allah! I even have the names picked out!

10. Do you label yourself (Sunni/Salafi/Shi'a/Tableeghi etc)? I guess I consider myself Sunni, but frankly I think that labels are a bad idea because it only divides the ummah.

11. Is your family Muslim? No, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian.

12. Do you have any Islamic goals? Definitely; I want to pray more sunnah prayers, I want to memorize the entire Qur'an, I want to become an Islamic scholar (yes, there are women scholars, but not enough of them!), and I want to perform hajj Insha'Allah!

13. Favorite Islamic book? The Qur'an (obviously), but I also really like "Fortress of the Muslim", a little book that has du'as for all occasions.

14. What is your favorite thing about Ramadan? People tend to be in a very sociable mood. I am also more conscious of ALLAH during Ramadan, Alhamdulillah. And I LOVE Laylat al-Qadr.

15. Favorite Quran reciter? Mishary Bin Rashid is very good, Masha'Allah. There's also a girl who went to my school who is amazing, Masha'Allah.

16. Would you recommend any good Islamic books? "Fortress of the Muslim", and "Islam: Religion of Life" by Abdul Wadud Shalabi.

17. How many Ju'z do you know? Only part of Ju'z 30. :(

18. Favorite Hadith? There's one where one of the sahaba (ra) sees the Prophet (saw) crying, and when he asks what's wrong, the Prophet (saw) says that he's sad because he will never get a chance to know the Muslims of the future. I tear up just thinking about it, because it makes me feel like Muhammad (saw) loves me and knows me personally, even though we have never met.

19. What do you like best about Islam? I don't even know how to answer that, because I like it all.

20. What do you think is the best way to spread dawah? Simply by practicing what you preach.

21. For converts, what got you interested in Islam? For born Muslims, what sparked you into being a practicing Muslim? It's a long story, with many parts, but it boils down to a movie ("Not Without My Daughter"), hijab, and A LOT of reading. I knew that I wanted to become a Muslim after becoming convinced of ALLAH and the truth of the Qur'an through the alleged scientific miracles in the Qur'an (some of them simply can't be explained any other way other than that ALLAH revealed the Qur'an).

Fill out the survey if you're interested Insha'Allah!

Instead of writing my paper and studying for finals...

...I'm going to write about one of my biggest hopes and dreams!

When I was a kid, I used to attend an overnight summer camp run by my church. It was a normal summer camp where we did all the usual stuff like hiking, swimming, capture the flag, dodgeball, dances, etc. We also did daily Bible study, sung Christian songs, had vespers services (evening services where we read from the Bible and sung hymns), prayed together, and took time out of the day where we stood in a circle and named one thing we were thankful to ALLAH for. My experiences at camp were some of the best of my life, Alhamdulillah. I met so many new people there, always had a ton of fun, and returned home with a renewed burst of faith. I still attended camp even in my early years of studying Islam, and Alhamdulillah, the faithful atmosphere increased my iman even though it was meant for Christians. I started to develop a dream; I had such a great experience at this camp, and I wanted Muslims to have the same chance to have fun and boost their iman. From then on, I have had a dream to open up and run an Islamic overnight summer camp for girls.

This camp would be located on a big patch of land out in the countryside, preferably in the mountains or near a beach. The camp would be open to girls of all ages, from grade school through high school (the different ages would attend at different times, though, so they could all do age-appropriate activities). There would only be female campers and female staff, so hijab rules could be more relaxed than usual; the campers and staff could certainly wear a headscarf and jilbab-type clothes if they wanted to, but they could also choose to go hijabless and wear short sleeves and capris (or pants and skirts below the knee). There would be swimming and all the fun camp sports and games. We would all eat together and pray salat together in congregation (unless some girls come from traditions where women pray alone). There would be daily Qur'an study in some way or another. For the younger kids, we would perhaps focus on a story of a Prophet and do activities surrounding this story, and for older kids we could focus on a surah or a concept found in the Qur'an (like forgiveness or gratefulness). We would gather around a campfire at night and sing nasheeds together (a lot of the songs we sung at camp were actually very Islamically appropriate, i.e. glorifying ALLAH with no mention of Jesus (as), so we could maybe sing these songs as well as other nasheeds). At my camp, the older kids and teenagers had "quest groups", where people would be divided up into groups and discuss certain issues and their feelings about things; it was a great bonding experience and really made us think about issues and how we apply religion and morals in our lives.

I think having a camp like this would be a great addition to the ummah. It is very hard to be a Muslim in the United States, especially as a child where there are so many "no's" (parents say, "no, you can't eat that", "no, you can't wear that", "no, you can't watch that", etc.). An Orthodox Jewish website that I visit sometimes was saying the same things about Jewish kids, how they are always being told by their parents that they can't participate in what all the other kids are doing. It can be tough for kids to understand and accept this, and in fact they might grow up resenting Judaism (or Islam) for "preventing" them from "being like everyone else". Instead, the website wrote, parents and educators need to focus on the things the kids CAN do. Alhamdulillah, ALLAH has made so many things halal for us, and we are free to enjoy these things for His sake. Being Muslim does NOT mean being miserable! On the contrary, we can enjoy a lot of things and, best of all, know that what we are doing is pleasing to ALLAH and glorifying Him.

This endeavor would definitely not be an easy goal to accomplish, and certainly not a cheap one, but Insha'Allah I think that it is certainly doable. If, many years later, you have daughters or granddaughters or nieces and hear about a camp run by a sister Anne, send them to it Insha'Allah! I may even give you a discount on attendance fee! :)

Now, time to stop dreaming and try to work on this paper. Or just fall asleep. More likely fall asleep. :P

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu!

New Sister!

Today, May 5, 2010, fellow blogger Elizabeth officially took her shahadah! ALLAHU AKBAR! Visit her blog at http://chickenxlicken.blogspot.com/ to send her well-wishes and du'as, Insha'Allah!

Ya ALLAH, please bless Elizabeth as she starts her new life as a Muslim. Please guide us always and keep us always on the Straight Path, and to always do what pleases You. Ameen!

Lame-o Update

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!

The school year is drawing to a close, Alhamdulillah. I only have one more day of class and the finals to take, and then I'm off for three months Insha'Allah. I must say that I'm really looking forward to the end of classes; academically, this has been a very difficult year for me. I had to decide what I wanted to major in, and I changed my mind at least three times before I finally decided on sociology (which I absolutely love). I took a lot of really tough classes, including a soul-crushingly hard Chinese class. It was so hard, and I was doing so poorly in it, that I actually decided to withdraw from it today so the grade won't show up on my transcript. Not the best thing to do, but it still looks better than an F. :P

As of now, I am jobless for the summer. I need to start applying for jobs PDQ before they're all taken by other desperate college students. And yes, I would consider myself desperate. I really, really need to make some money this summer because I just found out that due to my parent's financial situation, I will have to pay for half of my college tuition for the rest of the time I'm in school. I'm not complaining, though; Alhamdulillah, my parents have been so generous with paying for college and have had to make a lot of sacrifices to ensure that I stay in school. I can't expect them to keep struggling so much for my benefit, so it's only fair that I ease their financial burden. However, this does mean that I've got to get on the ball in terms of earning money and taking out loans and the like. Now if only I could find a way to do this that doesn't involve interest...

As excited as I am for the end of classes, I am also kind of dreading the summer. For those of you who don't know, I dubbed last summer the "summer from hell". Both my best friends were out of the country almost the entire time, I had an incredibly boring job, and I had to help my family do repairs on a two-family apartment building that we rent out (after eight hours of office work). I could deal with all of this, for the most part. One thing that was very trying, though, was trying to practice Islam without being discovered. It was my first time being at home for a long period of time as a Muslim, and I was terrified of being caught. Every prayer was done in secret, I was forced to stop wearing hijab, and halal food was non-existant (and I don't just mean meat; my parents put alcohol in A LOT of our meals). Worst of all was Ramadan; trying to fast without anyone noticing for two weeks was excruciating. This summer, I'll be at home for almost all of Ramadan. I am very concerned whether or not I'll be able to keep it a secret. If I have a full-time job, it will be easier to disguise, and I am planning on visiting my friends a lot during Ramadan to get out of the house as much as possible. If I am forced to break the fast, like I have absolutely no way around it, I (very reluctantly) will (and ask for forgiveness and make it up later), but I would obviously prefer not to. I guess I just have to see this as a test of sabr and iman. You know what they say, "if ALLAH brings you to it, He'll bring you through it", and "On no soul doth ALLAH place a burden greater than it can bear". I will most likely be writing a lot more about this topic. In the meantime, please make du'a that I get a job and am able to practice Islam to the best of my ability while at home without being discovered.

Salaam alaikum! <3