Help!

Salaam alaikum,

So I'm having an issue that could potentially impact my life for at least the next three years. As many of you know, I decided that I wanted to convert to Islam when I was 15, but for many reasons I waited until I was 18. However, I felt like I was a Muslim in my heart during these "stagnant years". Because I didn't know how to, and because I knew I wouldn't be able to since I lived with my parents, I didn't pray or fast during these years. I was just reading a reliable website saying that I would have to make up all three years of praying and fasting even though I hadn't officially converted and even though I have repented for not praying or fasting during this time. If this is the case, I will be making up prayers for three years and at least 90 days of fasting. There are apparently opinions that say if one sincerely repents and enters into the fold of Islam again after having not prayed and fasted, they will not have to make up these prayers and fasts since their sins will have been forgiven. Does anyone know whether this opinion is legitimate? Do I really have to make up three years of prayers? If anyone has any input it would be greatly appreciated, since I'm really concerned about this!

Big Meanies

Has anyone ever just been really nasty to you because of your religion, race, political beliefs, etc.? I posted something on a blog once, and this person was just so mean to me and mocked me for being Muslim. I asked them not to attack me or my religion because it isn't good blogging manners, and they said that i was being too sensitive and need to keep my "superstitions" to myself. I'm not even really angry about this, just sad. A little human kindness would be nice. I'm not asking for everyone to agree with me, but they don't have to be so mean about it. :(

I pray that ALLAH helps this person understand the error of their ways and that it is against basic manners to mock people for their beliefs, no matter what they are.

So, just a reminder and a suggestion to everyone: please be nice. Even if you really can't stand someone or think their beliefs are silly or wrong or whatever, this doesn't give you the right to attack them and bring them down. We cool? :)

College...

...is ridiculously expensive. $175 for books for just one class? $80 for a German workbook that you tear the pages out of (like the ones you had in grade school)? Over $50,000 for a year in tuition? Almost a quarter of a million dollars for four years? $15 if you lose your student ID? $100 if you misplace your room key? Over $4 for deodorant at the college bookstore? No wonder students (including myself) are always complaining about how they have no money. Shouldn't there be laws that regulate prices of stuff so it won't be like highway robbery trying to get an education?

Did I mention that I hate money sometimes?

The oft-mentioned conflict

Okay, back to a semi-serious post. :P

I'd like to discuss the whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It is a huge issue among the Muslim and Jewish communities in the USA, and I'd like to add my two cents. DISCLAIMER: These are merely my opinions, my gut feelings. I do not expect everyone to agree with them. Please do not call me out saying that what I think is haram or that I'm a kafir or whatever because of my view of the situation.

Undoubtedly the suffering amongst the Palestinian people is outrageous and deeply saddening. I can't even imagine what it must be like to live in what is essentially a police state; not being free to come and go as you please, constantly being checked and harassed by the cops and the military, having a forced curfew, having extremely limited resources and not being allowed to leave the country or even bring supplies in, and being forced to relocate from land that one has always lived on so that others can take it. This kind of suffering is totally unacceptable and disgusting; how anyone can think this is okay or justifiable is beyond me. Palestinians have the right, just like everyone else in this world, to live a life of freedom and dignity. They should be able to have decent food and clothing, free access to medical treatment, freedom to live wherever they want and to move about as they please, and freedom from unfair treatment and humiliation. Instead, their natural human rights are being disregarded by both the Israeli government and Hamas for their own political and material gain. In the end, sadly, they are always the losers.

All this poverty and injustice is enough to make anyone very angry, and when coupled with the huge gap in wealth and quality of life between Israel and Palestine (especially Gaza), it is understandable why so many people are angry at Israel. Israel technically has power over the Palestinian territories; why should the standards and treatment be different among Israelis and Palestinians if they are partially under the same rule?

But, and this is a huge but, all this anger DOES NOT justify suicide bombings, rockets launched at Israeli towns, and the virulent hatred of all things Israeli and Jewish.

Yes, the Israeli government does a lot of reprehensible things. Yes, it must definitely share the blame for the sorry state that Gaza is in now. But this is not the fault of all Israeli people. Just because the government acts a certain way doesn't mean that everyone under that government agrees with it or supports it. Although I don't know any Israelis personally, I am positive that there are plenty that condemn their government's actions against the Palestinians. There are some Israelis that are actively helping in the Palestinian cause. Therefore I think it is ignorant, nasty, and totally unfair to automatically accuse all Israelis of being evil.

What makes me even more upset is when some people extend this frustration and even hatred towards Jews in general. I can not say this enough: NOT ALL JEWS SUPPORT ISRAEL. There are many that do, but there are also plenty that don't. I'm sure people have seen pictures of Orthodox and Hasidic Jews attending anti-Zionist and pro-Palestinian rallies. There are lots of groups created by Jews in support of the Palestinian people. I have studied Judaism pretty extensively, and it teaches kindness, care for the world and all its people, and fighting oppression (especially seen in the story of Musa (as) and the evil Pharaoh). I absolutely hate it when I hear Muslims spouting very anti-Semitic things and blaming the Jews for everything. There are bad people in every group, just as there are good people in every group.

And here comes the controversial part: I do agree with the concept of Israel as a Jewish state. For thousands of years, Jews have not had a nation that they can call home. They had the land of Israel as a concept, but for many reasons (persecution, poverty, government issues, etc.) they could not live or return there. After the Holocaust, where a huge percentage of the worldwide Jewish population was exterminated in only a few short years, Jews felt more than ever that they needed a land where they could live freely and practice their Judaism. Modern-day Israel fulfills this wish for many Jews. It is the only Jewish-majority nation in the world, and after being the minority and the outcast for so long, it probably feels very relieving to finally be among one's own people without fear of oppression or persecution. It is easy to live as a Jew in Israel; kosher food abounds, the Sabbath and the Jewish holidays are observed everywhere, people follow the rules of modesty and family life, and they have the satisfaction of knowing that this is the land where their ancestors and the Prophets (peace be upon them) lived. So yes, I understand why many Jews are so attached to Israel and are so passionate in defending it, even though it means hell for the Palestinians. I of course do not at all condone this behavior of living freely at the expense of others' (i.e. the Palestinians') freedom, but I can understand where they're coming from.

Ideally, I would love for there to be one state where Israelis and Palestinians could live side by side in peace. The Jews could practice their Judaism, and the Palestinians could practice their Islam and Christianity. There would be no oppression or injustice towards anyone.

But this is just my ideal situation, and in no way is this going to happen anytime soon, if ever. ALLAHu Alim. Insha'Allah, I pray that this evil conflict will end soon, that the Palestinian people will be free from oppression and allowed to live their lives, and that Israel/Palestine will become dar as-salaam, an abode of peace. Ameen.

Alhamdulillah for new clothes!

And now for one of my not-so-thought-provoking posts:

I have wanted a button-up denim jilbab for a long time. I think they look classic and casual (my favorite style), and they fulfill the requirements of hijab while at the same time looking distinctly American. After looking in local Islamic clothing shops for one, only to find that they only sell black embroidered abayas (which are fine, but I want something a bit more colorful and Western-looking), I broke down and ordered one off the internet. There was some trouble with the order that could have caused some real problems; I ordered it off of Ebay, and when I put the shipping address down I accidently wrote my parents' address instead of my address at school. If it arrived at my parents' house and they opened it, they would know that I was Muslim and my entire cover would be ruined. Alhamdulillah, I actually went to their house this weekend and managed to hide the package before they saw what was inside. There was a lot of tension involved in getting this jilbab, but after seeing it it was totally worth it. I can't wait to wear it; I'm going to look totally hot! In a halal, hijabi way of course... :)

(sorry, for some reason I can't post a picture of it from the website. but it's your basic denim abaya with front buttons, dark denim, pockets in front, and no embroidery)

List of ten things about me, Anne

1. My real name is Anne. Anne is not exactly a flashy/elegant name, and I used to wish that it was "cool" like all my friends' names (there was one point when I was four years old where I insisted that everyone call me "Tanya"). I have grown to appreciate it more, though, since it fits my quiet personality (and since I found out that my mom partially decided on the name Anne because of her love of the terrific book "Anne of Green Gables"). My best friend Laila loves giving people nicknames, so at some point in the school year she bestowed me with my very own. I've never had a nickname other than Annie and the name I use in my Chinese classes, Ma Ailin, so I was flattered that someone would think to do this. Laila started off calling me "Annie Bananie", which I absolutely despised (even as a little kid, I hated when people called me this because I thought it was stupid and immature sounding). She asked if Banana would be okay, and I agreed; after all, it is definitely so much more mature than "Annie Bananie". :)

2. I absolutely love traveling. Like seriously love it. If all else fails in my school career, I have decided I will become a flight attendant so I will be able to travel (sort of) and get paid for it. I've always had a passion for learning about different lands, peoples, and culture, and travel is a natural offshoot of this interest. My dad does a lot of international travel for his job, and I've picked up a lot of my enthusiasm from him. I remember the day nine years ago when my parents announced that we would be going to Rome for a week's vacation; I was so darn ecstatic that as soon as I found out I ran down to our computer and wrote a story about it. Since then I've done a fair share of travel, including to China with my Chinese class in high school and to the Rocky Mountains last summer to visit family, but I am always hungry for more. If I was given tickets to any three places in the world right now, I would fly away to Malaysia (I want to go there on my honeymoon too!), India, and Jerusalem. Of course someday, Insha'Allah, I also hope to do Hajj.

3. My fashion sense leaves much to be desired. I am almost always seen wearing a solid-colored long sleeved shirt, long baggy skirts (or the occasional jilbab or abaya), an undecorated hijab, white socks, and plain sneakers. I hardly ever wear jewelry except for earrings. When I'm at home, my hair is always down. My mom refers to me (with disdain) as "Amish", and my friends say that I really need a makeover. I guess I could afford to wear brighter colors and different hijab styles. But I honestly like dressing plain; it's so easy, it doesn't look too casual or too formal, and it never goes out of style.

4. I am twenty years old and still sleep with a security blanket. It's this old white (now grey) thing that has my initials sewn in on one corner by my mom when I used to bring it to preschool with me. It doesn't have a special name or a gender or anything, and I don't really need it to get to sleep. But I always feel comforted and relaxed when I sleep with it, and I don't think I'll ever throw it away (I'll try and refrain from having it with me on my wedding night, though).

5. Besides Massachusetts, Minnesota is my favorite U.S. state. I've only been there once, and that was just for two days when Rachel and I were looking at colleges, but I fell in love with it. Perhaps it was the gorgeous weather they happened to have that weekend. Or maybe it's because I've grown up listening to "A Prairie Home Companion" with my family. Or maybe it's because every single person I met in Minnesota was just plain pleasant (the stereotype of "Minnesota nice" is very true). To any readers out there from the Land of 10,000 Lakes, let me holla at you!

6. My favorite show on television is The Boondocks. It is a show on Adult Swim (Cartoon Network) based off the comic strip by Aaron McGruder about two young black boys, Huey and Riley, who move from Chicago to a house in the suburbs with their Granddad. The show, done in anime-style, is chock-full of swearing and hilarious, smart jokes (it has gained controversy for making liberal use of the "n-word"), and the satire and messages presented in each episode are surprisingly profound and wise.

7. I love my best friends for totally different reasons. With Laila I can talk about matters concerning religion and not have to always explain or defend my beliefs. She is the go-to friend when I want to check out the latest television show or romantic comedy. And she is just so sweet, thoughtful, and an all-around good person. Rachel is the friend who I can talk to about absolutely everything. When I am feeling depressed or in despair, she is the first person I call. She gives the best hugs, and she is the best person to travel with. I feel like Rachel isn't just a best friend, but a sister (cliche, but true). With Tiffanie, I can let loose and have fun. She is hands down the funniest person I know; her jokes are both incredibly immature and brilliant at the same time. She's a great artist, and when I'm feeling creative we write graphic novels together. I have literally spent the night with her every weekend this past summer except when I was on vacation, and I wish she could come to college with me.

8. My sister and I are adopted. I would like to do meet my biological family someday, but I'm not really in any rush; not because I'm mad at them or harbor any negative feelings, but just because I don't feel like I must meet them as soon as possible. I've always had a very laissez-faire attitude about my adoption, unlike the stories people hear of kids who are completely traumatized for life by it and when they finally meet their birthparents they abandon the parents that raised them.
Even though I'm not very sensitive about it, I am definitely pro-life/pro-adoption; there are so many couples out there that want to have children so badly but just can't, and there are even more children that need loving families and safe homes. I really didn't like the movie Juno, because it seemed to trivialize the serious matter of giving up a baby for adoption; I hated that Juno seemed not to care at all about her baby.

9. I have never been to Florida.
When I was a kid this upset me greatly, because everyone else in my classes had been before. I'll add this to my list of places I want to go.

10. My favorite color is green. This is a totally anti-climactic ending. :)

FOOD

Today, so as to avoid seeming like a one-trick pony, I'm going to write about something not related to Islam in particular, and something that everyone can relate to: FOOD.

I am a voracious eater (and have definitely put on some pounds since this summer thanks to my really busy class schedule and abysmal eating habits; can anyone say gummy bears and taco meat for breakfast?). I totally think that I would make a great foodie for restaurants, even though it might be a bit challenging because I don't eat pork or alcohol and don't eat non-halal/non-kosher meats (except when I'm at my parents' house and don't have a choice except to eat non-halal).

This transition to cutting out non-halal meats has been tough for me, since I absolutely love meat in almost any form, and unfortunately all the halal and kosher restaurants are a few miles away (and me without a car). Also, unfortunately for me, this has meant me having to forgo most grub from fast food joints. As a tribute to my beloved salty, greasy treats, I'm going to give my two cents on a few fast food restaurants I've patronized over the years.

McDonald's:
Apparently when I was about four years old I absolutely loved McDonalds, especially their chicken nuggets. Since I was an only child for seven years, I generally got what I wanted, which meant that I ate McDonald's food often. I remember the transition from eating Happy Meals to the full-sized meals, where you got even more fattening goodness but had to leave behind the free toy. I haven't eaten McDonald's, other than their fish sandwich, in over a year, and I have to admit that I really miss it. I used to always get a medium grilled chicken sandwich meal with Hi-C orange drink; if I was really feeling like a pig, I would get the 10-piece chicken nugget meal (I was so excited when McDonald's announced that they were going to start using only white meat chicken in their nuggets). I heard there's a McDonald's near Detroit that sells halal chicken nuggets, so maybe someday, Insha'Allah, I'll make a pilgrimage there and stuff my face (I'll try to do other stuff in Detroit also so as not to feel like a total idiot).

Burger King:
I LOVE THEIR FRIES. SO MUCH. I've read a lot of reviews that say that McDonald's fries are the best, while Burger King fries are inferior because of the batter-type stuff they put on it. I think it makes them extra crispy and nice and soft on the inside.
Plus, unlike McDonald's fries, Burger King fries are completely vegetarian, so I can still eat them! Unfortunately their onion rings, which I also love, are not vegetarian. Recently I've been having a killer craving for Burger King onion rings. At the office I worked at over the summer they sold prepackaged Burger King brand onion ring-type snacks (I think they're made out of corn or something) which I have actually come to like. And they're halal, so YUM. At school there is a vending machine that disperses hot kosher snacks, including onion rings. I tried them and they taste just like the ones at Burger King, but at $2.75 a pop for a measly six onion rings, I can't afford to have them often.
Also, their burgers are the best fast food burgers anywhere.

Popeye's Chicken:
I haven't eaten here often, but the first time I did it was sheer ecstasy. I was traveling with a bunch of people to Michigan (not Detroit) and in Ohio we stopped for dinner at a rest area. I was really tired and hungry after being in the car all day, so I saw a Popeye's and decided to give it a try. You should have seen me eat that stuff; I was a total beast. I loved it so much I even started picking at the leftovers of the other people on the trip. There is a Popeye's near where my parents live, but the people that work there are notorious for being really nasty and racist.

Subway:
Alhamdulillah, Subway offers a ton of veggies, so I can simply forgo the meat and eat a cheese sub with all my favorite vegetables. I'm not missing much from them, but it would still be nice to be able to order a turkey sub once in a while. I heard that there are kosher Subways in New York City, and one may be opening up in Boston, so I'll be all over that once I have access to them Insha'Allah.

Chick-fil-A:
This fast food chain is mainly found in the Southern United States with a few renegade locations elsewhere, so I can only indulge in this when I visit family in North Carolina. I'm not sure how much of their food is vegetarian, and I can safely say that there are no halal Chick-fil-A restaurants, so I guess I'm out of luck. But their chicken sandwiches and fries were amazing. They also offered the option of getting a fresh fruit cup with your meal instead of fries, which I thought was a great idea.

I could talk about so many other fast food places, but I'm sure you have something else to do now! What about you, my readers? What fast food joint calls out your name when you pass by it?