Lame-o Update

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!

The school year is drawing to a close, Alhamdulillah. I only have one more day of class and the finals to take, and then I'm off for three months Insha'Allah. I must say that I'm really looking forward to the end of classes; academically, this has been a very difficult year for me. I had to decide what I wanted to major in, and I changed my mind at least three times before I finally decided on sociology (which I absolutely love). I took a lot of really tough classes, including a soul-crushingly hard Chinese class. It was so hard, and I was doing so poorly in it, that I actually decided to withdraw from it today so the grade won't show up on my transcript. Not the best thing to do, but it still looks better than an F. :P

As of now, I am jobless for the summer. I need to start applying for jobs PDQ before they're all taken by other desperate college students. And yes, I would consider myself desperate. I really, really need to make some money this summer because I just found out that due to my parent's financial situation, I will have to pay for half of my college tuition for the rest of the time I'm in school. I'm not complaining, though; Alhamdulillah, my parents have been so generous with paying for college and have had to make a lot of sacrifices to ensure that I stay in school. I can't expect them to keep struggling so much for my benefit, so it's only fair that I ease their financial burden. However, this does mean that I've got to get on the ball in terms of earning money and taking out loans and the like. Now if only I could find a way to do this that doesn't involve interest...

As excited as I am for the end of classes, I am also kind of dreading the summer. For those of you who don't know, I dubbed last summer the "summer from hell". Both my best friends were out of the country almost the entire time, I had an incredibly boring job, and I had to help my family do repairs on a two-family apartment building that we rent out (after eight hours of office work). I could deal with all of this, for the most part. One thing that was very trying, though, was trying to practice Islam without being discovered. It was my first time being at home for a long period of time as a Muslim, and I was terrified of being caught. Every prayer was done in secret, I was forced to stop wearing hijab, and halal food was non-existant (and I don't just mean meat; my parents put alcohol in A LOT of our meals). Worst of all was Ramadan; trying to fast without anyone noticing for two weeks was excruciating. This summer, I'll be at home for almost all of Ramadan. I am very concerned whether or not I'll be able to keep it a secret. If I have a full-time job, it will be easier to disguise, and I am planning on visiting my friends a lot during Ramadan to get out of the house as much as possible. If I am forced to break the fast, like I have absolutely no way around it, I (very reluctantly) will (and ask for forgiveness and make it up later), but I would obviously prefer not to. I guess I just have to see this as a test of sabr and iman. You know what they say, "if ALLAH brings you to it, He'll bring you through it", and "On no soul doth ALLAH place a burden greater than it can bear". I will most likely be writing a lot more about this topic. In the meantime, please make du'a that I get a job and am able to practice Islam to the best of my ability while at home without being discovered.

Salaam alaikum! <3