Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!
On December 31, 2008, I officially said the shahadah. I was a freshman in college and had been praying for about 3 months at that point, and I also had fasted for Ramadhan. During all of my prayers, however, when it came time for the tashahud I would always internalize the shahadah and never say it out loud. My mom had threatened a while back that if I became a Muslim while in school, they would stop paying for it and I would have to drop out, and I was afraid that they would really follow through on this. I was also putting it off for my own insecurities; I knew that once you said the shahadah out loud, there was no going back. It's not that I didn't accept Islam (heck, I was praying five times a day), but I feared that saying those words out loud meant that I would be expected to practice every part of Islam perfectly from then on.
December 31 is Tiffanie's birthday, and every year I go over to her house to spend the night, eat cake, watch bad television, and ring in the new year. It was about 15 minutes before midnight, and I excused myself from the living room to go into Tiffanie's room to say a special prayer for the new year. At that point, as I was praying, I decided that there really wasn't any point to putting it off, and why not start off the new year as an "official" Muslim? So alone in Tiffanie's dark bedroom, a few minutes before midnight, I took my shahadah. There were no witnesses but ALLAH. I had watched Youtube videos of people taking the shahadah in front of masjids full of people, and I kind of liked the idea of such an excited atmosphere, with everyone shouting takbirs afterward and total strangers coming up to hug and congratulate me. For me personally, I'm glad I did it this way. Even though I don't really show it, I'm an attention hog; I absolutely love it when people validate me and make me feel special. Taking shahadah in front of hundreds of worshippers after jummah would have been awesome. However, I think that I would have been too focused on all the attention rather than declaring with conviction the shahadah. When I was alone, I could say it with complete ikhlas (sincerity).
There are a bunch of monumental dates in my journey to Islam. I first learned about Islam in 2002, I saw "Not Without My Daughter" in December 2004 and decided to look into Islam seriously, in March 2005 I decided that I wanted to convert someday, in September 2008 I started fasting for Ramadhan and praying, on December 31, 2008 I said the shahadah, on February 14, 2009 I had my spiritual epiphany (I wrote about it in a post a couple years back), and on July 15, 2010, I retook my shahadah in front of several witnesses at my masjid and received my "official shahadah certificate". For me, though, this is the most outstanding of the dates, Subhanallah. Insha'Allah, I pray that my iman and 'ilm will continue to grow, and that I will live and die in a state of Islam, Ameen!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
2011 Meme! (stolen from Candice, Amber, and Kaighla)
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!
I have a more substantial post that I will write tomorrow (no, no announcements of marriage or pregnancy!), but for now I saw this meme on several other blogs and decided to post it myself.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Over the summer, I lived in an apartment with my best friend Tiffanie; this was the first time I've ever had my "own place" that wasn't a dorm room.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make any this year, not planning to make any next year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The Muslim chaplain at my college gave birth to a darling little girl, Alhamdulillah.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Morocco, and a quick stopover in France.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I definitely want more Islamic knowledge.
7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 15, the day I rode a camel in the Sahara at sunset. It was super cheesy and touristy, but still awesome nonetheless.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I did quite well in all of my classes.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Alhamdulillah, I can't really think of anything.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I love all the things I bought in Morocco, especially the lovely Qur'an (with transliteration!) and my gorgeous djellabas.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom is slowly becoming more tolerant of the fact that I am Muslim. Alhamdulillah times a million!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Al-Shabab in Somalia. Seriously, they are some of the most disgusting, inhumane people I've ever had the misfortune to read about.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Knowing me, probably food. :P
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got to visit a Muslim-majority country!
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
"Buffalo Soldier" by Bob Marley (it was played in the car we took on the way to the Sahara Desert), "Aicha" by Outlandish, "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay, and "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder?
Happier, no question. Last year at this time I was in the depths of OCD and depression, and things were looking pretty grim. Alhamdulillah, I have gotten much, much better.
ii. Thinner or fatter?
I think fatter. What can I say, I love food!
iii. richer or poorer?
Richer, since I'm working two jobs at school and I've been pretty good about saving it.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Memorizing new surahs and exercising.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting time on the internet.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I stayed at home with the family and made dinner for everyone.
21. How many one-night stands?
Zero!
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Top Chef, baby!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I don't think I truly hate anyone.
24. What was the best book you read?
"Defenders of the Faith" by Samuel Heilman.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Dabke music, lol.
26. What did you want and get?
I got to finally visit a Muslim-majority country.
27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really didn't watch many movies.
28. What did you do on your birthday?
I was in Morocco. We drove from Marrakech to Zagora (about a 9 hour drive), so I was on the bus most of the day. We stopped for lunch at this cute restaurant and I was surprised with a cake. I think I slept for most of the bus ride (I love sleeping, though, so it was a good way to spend my birthday), and I treated myself to a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice at the hotel we were staying at (which is my avatar on this blog). It was my 21st birthday, so I wanted to have some kind of "special drink". :)
29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Same as last year; jilbabs, jumpers, skirts, tunics, sweaters, and long al-Amira khimars (nope, I haven't "graduated" to more "sophisticated" hijabs, lol).
30. What kept you sane?
Television. :P
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shahrukh Khan, *swoon*
32. What political issue stirred you the most?
All of the revolutions in the Middle East and North Africa.
33. Who did you miss?
Tiffanie, Rachel, my sister, and my dog.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
Amalina, a fellow sociology major at my school; I knew her before, but we actually started hanging out this year.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I have become much more secure in my deen, and with that, I think I have become more accepting and kinder to others.
I have a more substantial post that I will write tomorrow (no, no announcements of marriage or pregnancy!), but for now I saw this meme on several other blogs and decided to post it myself.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Over the summer, I lived in an apartment with my best friend Tiffanie; this was the first time I've ever had my "own place" that wasn't a dorm room.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make any this year, not planning to make any next year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The Muslim chaplain at my college gave birth to a darling little girl, Alhamdulillah.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Morocco, and a quick stopover in France.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I definitely want more Islamic knowledge.
7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 15, the day I rode a camel in the Sahara at sunset. It was super cheesy and touristy, but still awesome nonetheless.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I did quite well in all of my classes.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Alhamdulillah, I can't really think of anything.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I love all the things I bought in Morocco, especially the lovely Qur'an (with transliteration!) and my gorgeous djellabas.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom is slowly becoming more tolerant of the fact that I am Muslim. Alhamdulillah times a million!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Al-Shabab in Somalia. Seriously, they are some of the most disgusting, inhumane people I've ever had the misfortune to read about.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Knowing me, probably food. :P
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got to visit a Muslim-majority country!
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
"Buffalo Soldier" by Bob Marley (it was played in the car we took on the way to the Sahara Desert), "Aicha" by Outlandish, "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay, and "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder?
Happier, no question. Last year at this time I was in the depths of OCD and depression, and things were looking pretty grim. Alhamdulillah, I have gotten much, much better.
ii. Thinner or fatter?
I think fatter. What can I say, I love food!
iii. richer or poorer?
Richer, since I'm working two jobs at school and I've been pretty good about saving it.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Memorizing new surahs and exercising.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting time on the internet.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I stayed at home with the family and made dinner for everyone.
21. How many one-night stands?
Zero!
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Top Chef, baby!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I don't think I truly hate anyone.
24. What was the best book you read?
"Defenders of the Faith" by Samuel Heilman.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Dabke music, lol.
26. What did you want and get?
I got to finally visit a Muslim-majority country.
27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really didn't watch many movies.
28. What did you do on your birthday?
I was in Morocco. We drove from Marrakech to Zagora (about a 9 hour drive), so I was on the bus most of the day. We stopped for lunch at this cute restaurant and I was surprised with a cake. I think I slept for most of the bus ride (I love sleeping, though, so it was a good way to spend my birthday), and I treated myself to a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice at the hotel we were staying at (which is my avatar on this blog). It was my 21st birthday, so I wanted to have some kind of "special drink". :)
29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Same as last year; jilbabs, jumpers, skirts, tunics, sweaters, and long al-Amira khimars (nope, I haven't "graduated" to more "sophisticated" hijabs, lol).
30. What kept you sane?
Television. :P
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shahrukh Khan, *swoon*
32. What political issue stirred you the most?
All of the revolutions in the Middle East and North Africa.
33. Who did you miss?
Tiffanie, Rachel, my sister, and my dog.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
Amalina, a fellow sociology major at my school; I knew her before, but we actually started hanging out this year.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I have become much more secure in my deen, and with that, I think I have become more accepting and kinder to others.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Feeling Guilty
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!
Long time no chat! School's been great, Alhamdulillah, but I've been quite busy (it's my senior year, and I'm really sad about having to leave). My Eid al-Fitr was lovely, Alhamdulillah; it was perfect weather, I went to the masjid for prayers with my schoolmates, and then afterwards we enjoyed a delicious lunch at a Palestinian coffeehouse. I wore a gorgeous cream and blue baju kurung that a friend gave me, my dark blue maghneh, and new black Mary Janes; it's amazing how wearing clothes that you like can put you in such a good mood.
I was just reading this one blog by someone (I don't "know" her very well), a recent convert, and she is very serious in giving her parents dawah. She says they were overall open to her conversion, and they are actually listening to what she has to say about Islam and doing some research themselves. Alhamdulillah, this is great to hear, and Insha'Allah they will decide one day in their hearts to accept Islam. However, after reading this, I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. My dawah to my family has been basically nonexistent. They know that I consider myself Muslim, but they are still unaware of the fact that I actually practice it (with the exception of my sister, who has seen me pray and wear hijab in public). My sister is a little curious, and if she asks questions about Islam, I'll answer them for her the best I can, but I've never initiated any discussions or tried to persuade her to do any research. I don't think my parents would listen to me if I tried to talk to them about it, and it would just make them very upset, even angry, so I avoid it to keep the peace.
I'm unsure how to approach this. On the one hand, I know that it's important that other people learn about Islam, but on the other hand, I don't want to make my family hate me. I know a lot of people would say, "Oh, but you shouldn't care what they think, you only need to fear ALLAH); I do fear ALLAH, but I do care about their feelings, and I think that if I tried to push it on them it would only make myself and Islam look bad. Is this just being lazy/negligent? I can't tell.
I have very strong feelings about dawah in general. Obviously I think it's important, but there absolutely must be some guidelines in how to approach it. In the USA, there is a very negative stigma towards any religious proselytizing unless people specifically ask for it, and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I HATE seeing people randomly give out pamphlets; this just conjures up images of certain evangelical Christian groups aggressively handing out brochures that demand that people convert immediately. People just ignore these, and it will make the group look overbearing. Going door-to-door is even worse, because it completely invades people's privacy and will make them even more unwilling to listen to what you have to say. I also don't like randomly bringing up Islam in conversations unless it's relevant. For example, I might be talking with a group of friends about fashion, and then I would talk about certain pieces of clothes that are hijabi-friendly. On the night before Eid, I make it a tradition to go around to all of my friends' rooms at college and put homemade Eid cards (and a piece of candy) on their doors, to spread the joyful Eid spirit. If we're discussing certain current events or ethical issues, I will talk about Islam's position on them and why we believe what we do. However, I won't be like, "Let me tell you about Islam!" in the middle of a conversation about a movie.
My approach to dawah is relatively simple: live life according to Islam as best as I can, mention Islam or Islamic teachings where appropriate, and be willing to answer any questions or inquiries that people may have to the best of my ability. Last year, I attended a terrific lecture by Usama Canon, and he said something to the extent of "make dawah so natural that you don't even realize you're doing it". It really bothers me when people say, "Let's go volunteer at the soup kitchen, it will be good dawah", or "go help that old lady cross the street, think of it as a dawah opportunity"; it just makes it seem like people are only doing good deeds with the intention of trying to convert people. What about doing good deeds because Islam commands us to, without any "hidden agenda" to make people want to become Muslim? Sometimes it's easy to forget, but when I'm about to do a good thing for someone else, I just try to think of it as, "ALLAH wants us to be good neighbors" rather than "If I show them how great Muslims are, they'll convert too!"
What do you all think? Should I, or any Muslim, be more "aggressive" in telling people about Islam, even though I think it will just alienate them even more, or should I just keep doing what I'm doing now?
Long time no chat! School's been great, Alhamdulillah, but I've been quite busy (it's my senior year, and I'm really sad about having to leave). My Eid al-Fitr was lovely, Alhamdulillah; it was perfect weather, I went to the masjid for prayers with my schoolmates, and then afterwards we enjoyed a delicious lunch at a Palestinian coffeehouse. I wore a gorgeous cream and blue baju kurung that a friend gave me, my dark blue maghneh, and new black Mary Janes; it's amazing how wearing clothes that you like can put you in such a good mood.
I was just reading this one blog by someone (I don't "know" her very well), a recent convert, and she is very serious in giving her parents dawah. She says they were overall open to her conversion, and they are actually listening to what she has to say about Islam and doing some research themselves. Alhamdulillah, this is great to hear, and Insha'Allah they will decide one day in their hearts to accept Islam. However, after reading this, I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. My dawah to my family has been basically nonexistent. They know that I consider myself Muslim, but they are still unaware of the fact that I actually practice it (with the exception of my sister, who has seen me pray and wear hijab in public). My sister is a little curious, and if she asks questions about Islam, I'll answer them for her the best I can, but I've never initiated any discussions or tried to persuade her to do any research. I don't think my parents would listen to me if I tried to talk to them about it, and it would just make them very upset, even angry, so I avoid it to keep the peace.
I'm unsure how to approach this. On the one hand, I know that it's important that other people learn about Islam, but on the other hand, I don't want to make my family hate me. I know a lot of people would say, "Oh, but you shouldn't care what they think, you only need to fear ALLAH); I do fear ALLAH, but I do care about their feelings, and I think that if I tried to push it on them it would only make myself and Islam look bad. Is this just being lazy/negligent? I can't tell.
I have very strong feelings about dawah in general. Obviously I think it's important, but there absolutely must be some guidelines in how to approach it. In the USA, there is a very negative stigma towards any religious proselytizing unless people specifically ask for it, and I wholeheartedly agree with this. I HATE seeing people randomly give out pamphlets; this just conjures up images of certain evangelical Christian groups aggressively handing out brochures that demand that people convert immediately. People just ignore these, and it will make the group look overbearing. Going door-to-door is even worse, because it completely invades people's privacy and will make them even more unwilling to listen to what you have to say. I also don't like randomly bringing up Islam in conversations unless it's relevant. For example, I might be talking with a group of friends about fashion, and then I would talk about certain pieces of clothes that are hijabi-friendly. On the night before Eid, I make it a tradition to go around to all of my friends' rooms at college and put homemade Eid cards (and a piece of candy) on their doors, to spread the joyful Eid spirit. If we're discussing certain current events or ethical issues, I will talk about Islam's position on them and why we believe what we do. However, I won't be like, "Let me tell you about Islam!" in the middle of a conversation about a movie.
My approach to dawah is relatively simple: live life according to Islam as best as I can, mention Islam or Islamic teachings where appropriate, and be willing to answer any questions or inquiries that people may have to the best of my ability. Last year, I attended a terrific lecture by Usama Canon, and he said something to the extent of "make dawah so natural that you don't even realize you're doing it". It really bothers me when people say, "Let's go volunteer at the soup kitchen, it will be good dawah", or "go help that old lady cross the street, think of it as a dawah opportunity"; it just makes it seem like people are only doing good deeds with the intention of trying to convert people. What about doing good deeds because Islam commands us to, without any "hidden agenda" to make people want to become Muslim? Sometimes it's easy to forget, but when I'm about to do a good thing for someone else, I just try to think of it as, "ALLAH wants us to be good neighbors" rather than "If I show them how great Muslims are, they'll convert too!"
What do you all think? Should I, or any Muslim, be more "aggressive" in telling people about Islam, even though I think it will just alienate them even more, or should I just keep doing what I'm doing now?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
In Memoriam
Subhanallah, I can't believe it's been ten years. I was just a little sixth-grader, excited to be the oldest grade in our elementary school. I remember on September 11, my mom said that I could walk home from school by myself for the first time. During the morning Spanish class, my regular teacher calmly walked into the classroom and whispered something into the Spanish teacher's ear. She screamed out, "You're kidding! Oh my gosh!" Neither teacher told us anything for the rest of the day, but I immediately knew something wasn't right. During a quiet moment, I muttered a silent prayer: "Dear GOD, please let everything be okay."
At the end of the school day, as I walked out of the building, I noticed that there were a lot more parents waiting outside for their kids than usual. My mom was there, too, and I was confused and a bit annoyed, seeing that this was supposed to be the day that I asserted my independence. I asked her what was going on, and she said that that morning, people flew some planes into the World Trade Center in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and into a field outside of Pittsburgh. Not grasping the severity of the situation, I said, "Oh, man, I liked that building" (I had confused the World Trade Center for the United Nations building, which I liked because of its green-tinted windows). On the way home, my mom told me that there were people in those buildings, and a lot of them were killed. I ran to the television to watch the news, and seeing the towers collapse made me tear up a little. I was a bit embarrassed crying in front of my mom, but she said that she had cried too. I was still unaware of just how serious this was, but I knew that it was really, really bad. I went up to my room, unsure of what to do. I wanted to commemorate the date so that I wouldn't forget it, so I wrote on my Peanuts calender in the September 11 box a quote from the Children's Memorial in the Hiroshima Peace Park: "This is our cry, this is our prayer, peace in the world".
I also remember that the day before, new episodes of my favorite show had started up again. I was a bit angry thinking how now they were probably going to be postponed. Looking back, I'm not sure if the new season was supposed to start on September 10, or if it was just one new episode on September 10 and none following it. Nevertheless, it's kind of embarrassing thinking that I was so selfish as to be angry about not seeing my favorite show. I guess maybe I just wanted a sense of normalcy, something to watch instead of towers falling and people crying over and over again. For years afterward, I remember not being able to watch that episode that aired on September 10.
In the days after, we talked a lot about what had happened in school. It felt good to talk about it, especially with my friends and classmates, overseen by my exceptionally calm and sensitive teacher. I quickly realized that we were in the middle of a crisis, and that things were going to be different from now on. We lived only 2.5 hours away from New York City, and my parents and I actually were down there on September 7 for a Yankees game. I had wanted to stay in the city for the weekend, but we decided not to. To add even more immediacy and relevance to what happened, it turns out that Flight 11, the first plane to hit the World Trade center, changed its flight path and started barreling down towards New York right over my hometown; my friend Tiffanie told me that her mom noticed a plane that day following the course of the Hudson River, which doesn't usually happen.
How much has changed in ten years. The USA is fighting two wars, the World Trade Center still hasn't been rebuilt, and Americans became aware that we are not safe and immune from violence and sadness. I never, ever, ever would have thought that ten years later, I would be a practicing Muslim. I barely knew what Islam was until sixth grade, and when everyone started talking about how Islam and Muslims had caused the terrorist attacks, I was confused as to what to think about it. My teacher had us read a chapter in our history books about the Middle East, saying that it contained important information in it. The chapter included a section on Islam. After reading it, I remember feeling a sense of relief. Islam didn't sound so bad, and it sure didn't sound like something that would allow such savage violence. There was even a sentence in the section that said that Prophet Muhammad (saw) was especially concerned about caring for widows and orphans, which is what the news was talking about too. I thought, "Look, the founder of Islam, which is what the people who caused the attacks followed, says that we should be helping the victims!" I was excited to learn that Islam, in fact, was "normal" and not at all as scary as what it was being made out to be.
To the terrorists: I hate you for what you've done. You killed nearly 3,000 innocent people. You killed other Muslims. You killed CHILDREN. You've given Islam a horrible reputation, and Muslims have had to put up with your shit ever since. You may be Muslims, but you are not my brothers. Insha'Allah, you will get the justice and punishment that you deserve in the Hereafter.
These thoughts are kind of jumbled, but I wanted to acknowledge them on the tenth anniversary. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. May ALLAH comfort all the survivors and the families of the victims, let us all receive guidance, let the perpetrators be brought to justice, and let there be permanent salaam in the world, Ameen.
At the end of the school day, as I walked out of the building, I noticed that there were a lot more parents waiting outside for their kids than usual. My mom was there, too, and I was confused and a bit annoyed, seeing that this was supposed to be the day that I asserted my independence. I asked her what was going on, and she said that that morning, people flew some planes into the World Trade Center in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and into a field outside of Pittsburgh. Not grasping the severity of the situation, I said, "Oh, man, I liked that building" (I had confused the World Trade Center for the United Nations building, which I liked because of its green-tinted windows). On the way home, my mom told me that there were people in those buildings, and a lot of them were killed. I ran to the television to watch the news, and seeing the towers collapse made me tear up a little. I was a bit embarrassed crying in front of my mom, but she said that she had cried too. I was still unaware of just how serious this was, but I knew that it was really, really bad. I went up to my room, unsure of what to do. I wanted to commemorate the date so that I wouldn't forget it, so I wrote on my Peanuts calender in the September 11 box a quote from the Children's Memorial in the Hiroshima Peace Park: "This is our cry, this is our prayer, peace in the world".
I also remember that the day before, new episodes of my favorite show had started up again. I was a bit angry thinking how now they were probably going to be postponed. Looking back, I'm not sure if the new season was supposed to start on September 10, or if it was just one new episode on September 10 and none following it. Nevertheless, it's kind of embarrassing thinking that I was so selfish as to be angry about not seeing my favorite show. I guess maybe I just wanted a sense of normalcy, something to watch instead of towers falling and people crying over and over again. For years afterward, I remember not being able to watch that episode that aired on September 10.
In the days after, we talked a lot about what had happened in school. It felt good to talk about it, especially with my friends and classmates, overseen by my exceptionally calm and sensitive teacher. I quickly realized that we were in the middle of a crisis, and that things were going to be different from now on. We lived only 2.5 hours away from New York City, and my parents and I actually were down there on September 7 for a Yankees game. I had wanted to stay in the city for the weekend, but we decided not to. To add even more immediacy and relevance to what happened, it turns out that Flight 11, the first plane to hit the World Trade center, changed its flight path and started barreling down towards New York right over my hometown; my friend Tiffanie told me that her mom noticed a plane that day following the course of the Hudson River, which doesn't usually happen.
How much has changed in ten years. The USA is fighting two wars, the World Trade Center still hasn't been rebuilt, and Americans became aware that we are not safe and immune from violence and sadness. I never, ever, ever would have thought that ten years later, I would be a practicing Muslim. I barely knew what Islam was until sixth grade, and when everyone started talking about how Islam and Muslims had caused the terrorist attacks, I was confused as to what to think about it. My teacher had us read a chapter in our history books about the Middle East, saying that it contained important information in it. The chapter included a section on Islam. After reading it, I remember feeling a sense of relief. Islam didn't sound so bad, and it sure didn't sound like something that would allow such savage violence. There was even a sentence in the section that said that Prophet Muhammad (saw) was especially concerned about caring for widows and orphans, which is what the news was talking about too. I thought, "Look, the founder of Islam, which is what the people who caused the attacks followed, says that we should be helping the victims!" I was excited to learn that Islam, in fact, was "normal" and not at all as scary as what it was being made out to be.
To the terrorists: I hate you for what you've done. You killed nearly 3,000 innocent people. You killed other Muslims. You killed CHILDREN. You've given Islam a horrible reputation, and Muslims have had to put up with your shit ever since. You may be Muslims, but you are not my brothers. Insha'Allah, you will get the justice and punishment that you deserve in the Hereafter.
These thoughts are kind of jumbled, but I wanted to acknowledge them on the tenth anniversary. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. May ALLAH comfort all the survivors and the families of the victims, let us all receive guidance, let the perpetrators be brought to justice, and let there be permanent salaam in the world, Ameen.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Light-hearted Survey
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!
Sorry for the lack of "serious" posts; I'm kind of in a writer's block right now. I return to my college tomorrow Insha'Allah, and I am beyond excited, because it means that I get to spend the rest of Ramadhan and Eid near my masjid, with my Muslim community, and without having to keep my fasting on the down low. Alhamdulillah, my fasting has been going very well; besides the days off I had for my period, I've been able to keep every fast without my parents noticing. Unfortunately, I am extremely behind on my Qur'an reading, so Insha'Allah I hope to catch up on it when I return to school before classes start.
Anyways, here's a survey I took from Majda at her Majda Majnona blog.
A
– Available: Nope, I'm not planning on looking for someone until I'm out of school.
– Age: 21
– Animals: Love 'em.
B
– Beer: I don't drink, but I have tasted it before and it's horrible.
– Best friends: Tiffanie, Laila, and Rachel
– Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes
– Best feeling in the world: Religious epiphanies
– Best weather: A nice autumn day, sunny with a nip in the air
– Been in Love: No
– Been on stage: I was in elementary school productions and Christmas plays at my old church...hilarity ensued.
– Believe in Magic: Yes, but it must be avoided
– Believe in Santa: No, but I used to
– Brand: Shukr, Eddie Bauer, L.L. Bean, Land's End, Old Navy
C
– Candy: Swedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids and Raisinettes
– Color: Kelly green
– Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Indian/Italian: Indian
- Cake or pie: Pie
– Cheese: Anything melty
D
– Day or Night: Day
– Dancing in the rain: I hate getting wet. :P
E
– Eyes: I don't really have a preference
– Ever failed a class?: No, but I withdrew from a class at the last minute because I knew I was probably going to fail it (Chinese 302, worst class ever)
– Enemies: I have none
– Exercise: I am terrible at every sport, so if I have to exercise I either walk or use a treadmill or ellipticals.
F
– First thoughts waking up: Any new Facebook messages? Pathetic. :(
– Food: My favorite carnal pleasure.
G
– Greatest Fear: Losing my faith in ALLAH and not being Muslim anymore.
– Get along with your parents: On certain things, but definitely not on others.
H
– Hair Color: Light brown
– Happy: For the most part
– Holiday: I most want to go to (in this order) Iran, Malaysia, India, Israel/Palestine, Great Britain, Pakistan, and France.
I
– Ice Cream: Anything with peanut butter in it.
J
– Jewelry: I hardly ever wear it, although I do have a few nice pieces for special occasions.
– Job: I have an office job and babysitting at college.
K
– Kids: Someday, Insha'Allah.
– Kickboxing or karate: Karate, I suppose.
– Keep a journal?: No, I would never update it (like I rarely update this blog)
L
– Love: Comes in different types; love for ALLAH, love for the Prophets, love for family, love for a spouse, love for friends, love for animals, love for things, etc.
– Laughed so hard you cried: Oh yes, plenty of times.
M
- Milk flavor: I hate milk.
– Movies: I like stupid, crude comedies like Superbad, Knocked Up, Dumb and Dumber, and the like
– Motion sickness: Only occasionally
N
– Number: 5
O
– One wish: That I remain a good, believing, practicing Muslim for my whole life
P
– Perfect Pizza: Extra cheese and lots of black olives, maybe throw some halal pepperoni on there too
– Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi
– Perfume/Cologne: Perfume
Q
– Quail: I like the one little feather they have on top of their head
R
– Reason to cry: Death
– Reality T.V: Top Chef!
– Radio Station: I like NPR
S
– Song: I don't have a favorite, but I love pretty much anything by James Taylor
– Shoe size: 8.5
– Salad Dressing: olive oil and vinegar
– Skinny dip: I did it once before in a private pool
– Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries
– Sport: None, I never liked sports
- Sex: Someday Insha'Allah
T
– Tattoos?: Really depends on the quality of them; one of my favorite sites is ugliesttattoos.com
– Thunderstorms: No way, I get way too startled by thunder
U
– Unpredictable: I don't think so
V
– Vacation spot(s): Big cities are my favorite
W
– Weakness: I'm pretty messy.
– Who makes you laugh the most: Tiffanie can always make me laugh
– Worst Weather?: Humid and cloudy
X
– X-Rays: I've gotten teeth x-rays
Y
-Year it is now: 2011
-Yellow: Pretty!
Z
–Zoo animal: Elephants and gorillas
Sorry for the lack of "serious" posts; I'm kind of in a writer's block right now. I return to my college tomorrow Insha'Allah, and I am beyond excited, because it means that I get to spend the rest of Ramadhan and Eid near my masjid, with my Muslim community, and without having to keep my fasting on the down low. Alhamdulillah, my fasting has been going very well; besides the days off I had for my period, I've been able to keep every fast without my parents noticing. Unfortunately, I am extremely behind on my Qur'an reading, so Insha'Allah I hope to catch up on it when I return to school before classes start.
Anyways, here's a survey I took from Majda at her Majda Majnona blog.
A
– Available: Nope, I'm not planning on looking for someone until I'm out of school.
– Age: 21
– Animals: Love 'em.
B
– Beer: I don't drink, but I have tasted it before and it's horrible.
– Best friends: Tiffanie, Laila, and Rachel
– Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes
– Best feeling in the world: Religious epiphanies
– Best weather: A nice autumn day, sunny with a nip in the air
– Been in Love: No
– Been on stage: I was in elementary school productions and Christmas plays at my old church...hilarity ensued.
– Believe in Magic: Yes, but it must be avoided
– Believe in Santa: No, but I used to
– Brand: Shukr, Eddie Bauer, L.L. Bean, Land's End, Old Navy
C
– Candy: Swedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids and Raisinettes
– Color: Kelly green
– Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Indian/Italian: Indian
- Cake or pie: Pie
– Cheese: Anything melty
D
– Day or Night: Day
– Dancing in the rain: I hate getting wet. :P
E
– Eyes: I don't really have a preference
– Ever failed a class?: No, but I withdrew from a class at the last minute because I knew I was probably going to fail it (Chinese 302, worst class ever)
– Enemies: I have none
– Exercise: I am terrible at every sport, so if I have to exercise I either walk or use a treadmill or ellipticals.
F
– First thoughts waking up: Any new Facebook messages? Pathetic. :(
– Food: My favorite carnal pleasure.
G
– Greatest Fear: Losing my faith in ALLAH and not being Muslim anymore.
– Get along with your parents: On certain things, but definitely not on others.
H
– Hair Color: Light brown
– Happy: For the most part
– Holiday: I most want to go to (in this order) Iran, Malaysia, India, Israel/Palestine, Great Britain, Pakistan, and France.
I
– Ice Cream: Anything with peanut butter in it.
J
– Jewelry: I hardly ever wear it, although I do have a few nice pieces for special occasions.
– Job: I have an office job and babysitting at college.
K
– Kids: Someday, Insha'Allah.
– Kickboxing or karate: Karate, I suppose.
– Keep a journal?: No, I would never update it (like I rarely update this blog)
L
– Love: Comes in different types; love for ALLAH, love for the Prophets, love for family, love for a spouse, love for friends, love for animals, love for things, etc.
– Laughed so hard you cried: Oh yes, plenty of times.
M
- Milk flavor: I hate milk.
– Movies: I like stupid, crude comedies like Superbad, Knocked Up, Dumb and Dumber, and the like
– Motion sickness: Only occasionally
N
– Number: 5
O
– One wish: That I remain a good, believing, practicing Muslim for my whole life
P
– Perfect Pizza: Extra cheese and lots of black olives, maybe throw some halal pepperoni on there too
– Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi
– Perfume/Cologne: Perfume
Q
– Quail: I like the one little feather they have on top of their head
R
– Reason to cry: Death
– Reality T.V: Top Chef!
– Radio Station: I like NPR
S
– Song: I don't have a favorite, but I love pretty much anything by James Taylor
– Shoe size: 8.5
– Salad Dressing: olive oil and vinegar
– Skinny dip: I did it once before in a private pool
– Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries
– Sport: None, I never liked sports
- Sex: Someday Insha'Allah
T
– Tattoos?: Really depends on the quality of them; one of my favorite sites is ugliesttattoos.com
– Thunderstorms: No way, I get way too startled by thunder
U
– Unpredictable: I don't think so
V
– Vacation spot(s): Big cities are my favorite
W
– Weakness: I'm pretty messy.
– Who makes you laugh the most: Tiffanie can always make me laugh
– Worst Weather?: Humid and cloudy
X
– X-Rays: I've gotten teeth x-rays
Y
-Year it is now: 2011
-Yellow: Pretty!
Z
–Zoo animal: Elephants and gorillas
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Little Muslim Questionnaire
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone, and Ramadhan Mubarak!
For those of you fasting, Insha'Allah I sincerely hope it's going well and is not too difficult during these long, hot summer days, and that Insha'Allah you are strengthening your relationship with ALLAH at the same time.
Here's a short questionnaire that I found on Elisa's blog, and as a big fan of these types of things (they channel my inner stalker, lol) I decided to fill it out myself. One thing that kind of peeved me about it, though, was that it kept lumping "Arab" and "Muslim" together as if they were one and the same. I'm going to ignore the "Arab" part of it and just focus on the "Muslim" parts.
1) Are you a convert or born Muslim? How about your parents?
I'm a convert Alhamdulillah; I decided I wanted to be Muslim in 2005, started observing the five pillars in September 2008, took the shahadah on December 31, 2008, and got my shahadah certificate on July 15, 2010. My mother is Jewish (non-observant) and my father and sister are Christian (observant).
2) What's your ethnicity and how did it relate to how you were raised?
My sister and I are adopted, so we have different ethnicities than my parents. I'm Italian, Irish, and German, and these specific ethnicities played no role in my upbringing (although my family did visit Italy when I was 10). My dad is the epitome of WASP culture, so I really was brought up with WASPy values. My mother is Jewish, so I also learned about Jewish customs. My sister is Chinese, and our family used to do a lot of Chinese-related activities and customs (we celebrated Chinese New Year, took Chinese cooking classes, I was in a Chinese folk dance troupe, I took Mandarin Chinese for six years, etc.).
3) Where are you from, and if not the Middle East, have you been there? For how long and why?
Um...what? I'm assuming that this question is being asked because the Middle East is the "heartland" of Islam (totally ignoring the Muslims in the subcontinent, sub-Saharan Africa, and Southeast Asia...). I am American and have always lived there. I have been to Morocco for three weeks for a college course, and Insha'Allah I would love to return someday.
4) What's your favorite Arab/Middle Eastern dish?
Bechamel, hands down. And of course shawarma and fresh hummus.
5) What's the most interesting or funny Islam/Arab related saying you use day to day?
The only Arabic words I use are in relation to Islam (e.g. Masha'Allah, Alhamdulillah, etc.), so none of them are really "interesting" or out of the ordinary.
6) What's the most attractive and unattractive thing you find toward a Muslim or Arab man/woman?
I am attracted to Muslim men who are serious about their religion without getting too zealous or intolerant of people who aren't just like him (no going around acting like the haram police or claiming that everyone that doesn't agree with him is a kafir). A sense of humor and respect for others, especially children and women, are essential. Men who think that women are inferior, only belong in the kitchen or birthing babies, and who don't respect our opinions and feelings are an absolute no-no for me.
7) Whats the thing you love most about Islam? What do you dislike the most?
The thing I love the most about Islam is the Qur'an; just an all-around amazing, beautiful thing. I dislike how the Qur'an, hadiths, and sunnah have been traditionally interpreted to subjugate certain groups of people (especially women) when in reality, upon closer examination, Islam actually doesn't condone these attitudes and behaviors.
8) What's the most interesting/embarrassing/funny thing in your house that's related to Islam or Arab culture, excluding the Quran?
I have a t-shirt that says "I <3 ISBCC" on it (ISBCC being the masjid that I attend).
9) Do you speak Arabic? If you do, then say something.
Again, the only Arabic I know is related to Islam. I know a few secular words, but I hardly ever use them.
10) Name of all the Islamic Prophets you can remember at the top of your head. No Cheating!!
Adam, Idris, Nuh, Ilyas, Ibrahim, Lut, Ishaq, Ismail, Yaqub, Yusuf, Musa, Harun, Dawud, Sulayman, Ayyub, Uzayr, Shuaib, Dhul-Kifl, Zakariya, Yahya, Isa, Muhammad, peace be upon them all.
Feel free to copy and fill out yourself!
For those of you fasting, Insha'Allah I sincerely hope it's going well and is not too difficult during these long, hot summer days, and that Insha'Allah you are strengthening your relationship with ALLAH at the same time.
Here's a short questionnaire that I found on Elisa's blog, and as a big fan of these types of things (they channel my inner stalker, lol) I decided to fill it out myself. One thing that kind of peeved me about it, though, was that it kept lumping "Arab" and "Muslim" together as if they were one and the same. I'm going to ignore the "Arab" part of it and just focus on the "Muslim" parts.
1) Are you a convert or born Muslim? How about your parents?
I'm a convert Alhamdulillah; I decided I wanted to be Muslim in 2005, started observing the five pillars in September 2008, took the shahadah on December 31, 2008, and got my shahadah certificate on July 15, 2010. My mother is Jewish (non-observant) and my father and sister are Christian (observant).
2) What's your ethnicity and how did it relate to how you were raised?
My sister and I are adopted, so we have different ethnicities than my parents. I'm Italian, Irish, and German, and these specific ethnicities played no role in my upbringing (although my family did visit Italy when I was 10). My dad is the epitome of WASP culture, so I really was brought up with WASPy values. My mother is Jewish, so I also learned about Jewish customs. My sister is Chinese, and our family used to do a lot of Chinese-related activities and customs (we celebrated Chinese New Year, took Chinese cooking classes, I was in a Chinese folk dance troupe, I took Mandarin Chinese for six years, etc.).
3) Where are you from, and if not the Middle East, have you been there? For how long and why?
Um...what? I'm assuming that this question is being asked because the Middle East is the "heartland" of Islam (totally ignoring the Muslims in the subcontinent, sub-Saharan Africa, and Southeast Asia...). I am American and have always lived there. I have been to Morocco for three weeks for a college course, and Insha'Allah I would love to return someday.
4) What's your favorite Arab/Middle Eastern dish?
Bechamel, hands down. And of course shawarma and fresh hummus.
5) What's the most interesting or funny Islam/Arab related saying you use day to day?
The only Arabic words I use are in relation to Islam (e.g. Masha'Allah, Alhamdulillah, etc.), so none of them are really "interesting" or out of the ordinary.
6) What's the most attractive and unattractive thing you find toward a Muslim or Arab man/woman?
I am attracted to Muslim men who are serious about their religion without getting too zealous or intolerant of people who aren't just like him (no going around acting like the haram police or claiming that everyone that doesn't agree with him is a kafir). A sense of humor and respect for others, especially children and women, are essential. Men who think that women are inferior, only belong in the kitchen or birthing babies, and who don't respect our opinions and feelings are an absolute no-no for me.
7) Whats the thing you love most about Islam? What do you dislike the most?
The thing I love the most about Islam is the Qur'an; just an all-around amazing, beautiful thing. I dislike how the Qur'an, hadiths, and sunnah have been traditionally interpreted to subjugate certain groups of people (especially women) when in reality, upon closer examination, Islam actually doesn't condone these attitudes and behaviors.
8) What's the most interesting/embarrassing/funny thing in your house that's related to Islam or Arab culture, excluding the Quran?
I have a t-shirt that says "I <3 ISBCC" on it (ISBCC being the masjid that I attend).
9) Do you speak Arabic? If you do, then say something.
Again, the only Arabic I know is related to Islam. I know a few secular words, but I hardly ever use them.
10) Name of all the Islamic Prophets you can remember at the top of your head. No Cheating!!
Adam, Idris, Nuh, Ilyas, Ibrahim, Lut, Ishaq, Ismail, Yaqub, Yusuf, Musa, Harun, Dawud, Sulayman, Ayyub, Uzayr, Shuaib, Dhul-Kifl, Zakariya, Yahya, Isa, Muhammad, peace be upon them all.
Feel free to copy and fill out yourself!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
"Well, we've scanned the sky and we've sighted the moon..."
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu everyone!
I don't really have much to say, other than that I want to wish all of you, Muslim and non-Muslim, a Ramadhan Mubarak, a month filled with joy and peace of mind. I sincerely hope to get closer to ALLAH this month, and I wish the same for everyone. May ALLAH help us to maintain the fasts of the body, tongue, and behavior, and may ALLAH forgive us for all our shortcomings and grant us sakeenah and salaam, Ameen!
To end with, I want to post the lyrics to one of my favorite nasheeds, "We've Scanned the Sky" by Dawud Wharnsby Ali. It is meant for children, but the lyrics still bring a tear to my eye with their sheer simplicity and beauty.
"Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Oh it was so very long ago
In the holy month of Ramaddan
ALLAH sent his message to the world
The holy book of Qur'an
A light to shine for all mankind
A guide to teach us right from wrong
First revealed on the Night of Power
With peace until the rising of the dawn.
So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
As the sun lay sleeping, beneath the blanket of the night
We rise early to make suhur, before the white thread of light
We’re patient and kind, remembering ALLAH all throughout our day
And when the sun has gone and we’ve made iftar,
We gather together and pray.
’Cause we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
So many of our brothers and sisters, all across the land
They have no food to eat at all, and they need a helping hand
When we fast from morning ’til the night, to fulfill ALLAH’s command
We feel the hunger and thirst they feel, and it helps us to understand
For, all too fast, the moon goes past, our month of blessings now has gone
But we’ll keep its spirit throughout the year, everyday should be like Ramadhan
So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say farewell to Ramadhan
When we fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Yes, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say farewell to Ramadhan
When we fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman"
Love to you all, and Ramadhan Mubarak,
Anne
I don't really have much to say, other than that I want to wish all of you, Muslim and non-Muslim, a Ramadhan Mubarak, a month filled with joy and peace of mind. I sincerely hope to get closer to ALLAH this month, and I wish the same for everyone. May ALLAH help us to maintain the fasts of the body, tongue, and behavior, and may ALLAH forgive us for all our shortcomings and grant us sakeenah and salaam, Ameen!
To end with, I want to post the lyrics to one of my favorite nasheeds, "We've Scanned the Sky" by Dawud Wharnsby Ali. It is meant for children, but the lyrics still bring a tear to my eye with their sheer simplicity and beauty.
"Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Oh it was so very long ago
In the holy month of Ramaddan
ALLAH sent his message to the world
The holy book of Qur'an
A light to shine for all mankind
A guide to teach us right from wrong
First revealed on the Night of Power
With peace until the rising of the dawn.
So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
As the sun lay sleeping, beneath the blanket of the night
We rise early to make suhur, before the white thread of light
We’re patient and kind, remembering ALLAH all throughout our day
And when the sun has gone and we’ve made iftar,
We gather together and pray.
’Cause we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Well, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we welcome the month of Ramadhan
When we’ll fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
So many of our brothers and sisters, all across the land
They have no food to eat at all, and they need a helping hand
When we fast from morning ’til the night, to fulfill ALLAH’s command
We feel the hunger and thirst they feel, and it helps us to understand
For, all too fast, the moon goes past, our month of blessings now has gone
But we’ll keep its spirit throughout the year, everyday should be like Ramadhan
So we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say farewell to Ramadhan
When we fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman
Yes, we’ve scanned the sky and we’ve sighted the moon
And we say farewell to Ramadhan
When we fast together for ALLAH, to help and strengthen our iman"
Love to you all, and Ramadhan Mubarak,
Anne
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